Try something new
Old habits of arguing do not resolve conflicts so try something new.
- Formal lengthy speeches need not be prepared. Less is better.
- Express yourself strongly but without rancour.
- Berating, reprimanding and scolding are the most ineffective way of changing minds.
Old habits of listening do not resolve conflicts so try some new ways of hearing.
- The best advocates firstly seek to understand, then seek to be understood.
- Good listening is actually about showing that you are listening. So acknowledge that in some way.
Acknowledging that you are listening:
- Does not mean agreeing with someone;
- Will cost you nothing;
- When genuine, means more than any other kind of advocacy;
- Can take any form from a simple nod, gesture, verbal concession, allowance, recognition, apology etc;
Remember, any comment in a mediation, such as an acknowledgement, is confidential.
Ask questions
- Do not hesitate to ask questions about the difficult issues.
- Use open, direct questions and enlist the help of the Mediator to frame questions.
- The Mediator will ask an ample number of helpful questions.
Be flexible
- The strongest negotiating position is one that has some flexibility.